Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence
Although domestic violence is a crime, battering behavior is often condoned rather than criminalized and the blame for the behavior is often shifted to the batterer's victim. Great strides have been made in the past 30 years, but a number of misperceptions about domestic violence, batterers, their behavior, and their victims persist in the United States. Such stereotypes hinder our ability to support victims, hold batterers accoutable, and address domestic violence in an effective manner - in our civil and criminal legal systems and elsewhere.Myth: Victims of Domestic Violence Like to Be Beaten
Fact: Women who are being battered by their intimate partner have historically been characterized as masochistic women who enjoy being beaten. After all, the theory goes, if they didn't like it, they would just leave.
Evidence does not support this anachronistic psychological theory. Rather, victims of domestic violence desperately want the abuse to end and engage in various survival strategies to protect themselves and their children. Those strategies include safety planning, seeking help from family members, friends, and neighbors, and calling the police. Silence may also be a survival strategy in some cases. (Dutton, The Dynamics of Domestic Violence, 1994) In fact, leaving a relationship with a batterer, especially if children are involved, can be a difficult and dangerous process.
Myth: Victims of Domestic Violence Never Leave Their Abusers
Fact: Most women involved with a batterer leave their abusers, often several times. It may take a number of attempts to permanently separate because abusers use violence, financial control, or threats about the children to compel their victims to return. Additionally, a lack of support from friends, family members, or professionals (such as court personnel, law enforcement officers, counselors, or clergy members) may cause women to return.
Since the risk of further violence often increases after survivors separate from (or threaten to separate from) their abusers, it can be even harder for a person to extricate themselves if she cannot obtain effective legal relief. Survivors who receive appropriate legal assistance at an early stage increase their chances of obtaining the protection and financial security they need to leave their abusers permanently.
Myth: Batterers Abuse Their Partners or Spouses Because of Alcohol
or Drug Abuse
Fact:Alcohol or substance abuse does not cause perpetrators of domestic violence to abuse their partners, though they frequently use it as an excuse. Substance abuse may increase the frequency or severity of violent episodes in some cases (Jillson & Scott, 1996). Because substance abuse does not cause domestic violence, requiring batterers to attend only substance abuse treatment programs will not effectively end the violence.
Myth: Batterers Abuse Their Partners or Spouses Because They are
Under a lot of Stress or Unemployed
Fact: Stress or unemployment does not cause batterers to abuse their partners. Since domestic violence cuts across socioeconomic lines, domestic abuse cannot be attributed to unemployment or poverty. Similary, advocates note that if stress caused domestic violence, batterers would assault their bosses or co-workers rather than their intimate partners. Domestic violence flourishes because society condones spouse or partner abuse, and because perpetrators learn that they can achieve what they want through the use of force, without facing serious consequences.
Myth: Children Are Not Affected When One Parent Abuses the Other
Fact:Studies show that in 50 to 70 percent of the cases in which a parent abuses another parent, the children are also abused. (Bowker etal, 1988.) Children also suffer emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and developmental impairments as a result of witnessing domestic violence in the home (Jaffe, 1990.) Montana statute includes "committing a violent or abusive act against another individual in a child's home" in the statutory definition for child pyschological abuse (MCA 41-3-102). In addition, since battering is learned behavior, children, especially boys, exposed to a batterer grow up at great risk of repeating the same behavioral patterns.
Myth: Domestic Violence is Irrelevant to Parental Fitness
Fact: Because children often suffer physical and emothional harm when they are exposed to a batterer, domestic violence is extremely relevant to parental fitness for a number of reasons. One, a history of domestic violence can indicate that the perpetrating parent physically or emotionally abuses the child as well as the other parent. Two, abusers frequently use the children as pawns to continue to control the other parent. Finally, an abuser's focus on their victims calls into question their ability to parent, because their primary concern is not their children. Courts should consider the effects of the abuser's behavior on the children when determining custody and visitation arrangements.
Some courts mistakenly penalize the non-offending parent in custody cases by assuming that a battered woman is emotionally unstable because of the violence or because she "let the violence happen." In most states, however, custody statutes now recognize that domestic violence is relevant to the abuser's parental fitness. Courts in those states (Montana included) are required to consider domestic violence as a factor in custody determinations or to employ a presumption that perpetrators should not receive custody of the children. (The Family Violence Project of the NCJFCJ, 1995).
Myth:Low Self-Esteem Causes Victims to Get Involved in Abusive Relationships
Fact:Traditional theories presumed that individuals with adequate self-esteem would not "allow" themselves to be abused by intimate partners or spouses. This is another common way in which the responsibility for the abuse is shifted away from perpetrators and back toward their victims. In fact, studies have demonstrated that the most common (and only statistically important) risk factor for domestic abuse in the United States is being female. (Cahn & Meier, 1995)
Although little support exists to support the theory that low-esteem causes individuals to become involved in an abusive relationship, it is important to note that some victims may experience a decrease in self-esteem as a result of being abused since perpetrators frequently degrade, humiliate, and criticize their victims.
Myth:Law Enforcement and Judicial Responses, Such as Arresting Batterers or Issuing Civil Protection Orders, are Useless
Fact: There is a great deal of debate about the efficacy of particular actions by law enforcement or the judiciary. Most experts agree, however, that actions by one piece of the system are only effective when the rest of the criminal and civil legal systems are functioning, (Zorza, 1996; Wanless, 1996) and that improved protocols can decrease domestic violence related homicides. Thus, law enforcement officers must make arrests, prosecutors must prosecute domestic violence cases, and courts must enforce orders and impose sanctions for criminal convictions. It is important for batterers to receive the message from the community that domestic violence will not be tolerated, and that the criminal justice and law enforcement systems will be involved until the violence ceases.
Sources Cited
Mary Ann Dutton, The Dynamics of Domestic Violence: Understanding the Response from Battered Women, 68(9) Fla. Bar J. 24, 26 (1994).
Naomi Cahn & Joan S. Meier, Domestic Violence and Feminist Jurisprudence: Towards a New Agenda, 4 BU Pub. Int. L.J. 339 (1995) discussing stereotypes of battered women.
Lawrence Sherman & Richard Berk, The Minneapolis Domestic Violence Experiement, Police Foundation Reports 1 (Apr. 1984).
Joan Zorza, Must We Stop Arresting Batterers' Analysis and Policy Implications of New Police Domestic Violence Studies, 28 New Eng. Law Review 929(1994).
Wanless, Mandatory Arrest: A Step Toward Eradicating Domestic Violence. But is it enough? U. Ill Law Review 533, 569 (1996).
Lee Bowker, etal., On the Relationship Between Wife Beating and Child Abuse, Feminist Perspectives on Wife Abuse 158-162 (1988).
Peter Jaffe, Children of Battered Women (1990).
The Family Violence Project of the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, Family Violence in Child Custody Statutes: An Analysis of State Codes and Legal Practice (1995).